
Hmmm...we want to hear the one about Dan, too!
Happy Halloween, everyone! In the Sittercity.com office, we can’t pass up a good babysitting urban legend. We started collecting them in 2004 when a power outage in our office had us sitting in our office kitchen, reminiscing about babysitting jobs of old. Urban legends are often meant to impart a moral, however insignificant, to the masses. Babysitting urban legends got started in the 1970’s, most often being imparted with wide eyes from one disbelieving sorority girl to another, preferably on the train or subway when everyone else could hear. What are most fascinating are the morals underneath these stories. Meant to impart a fiendish lesson to parents and babysitters, these tales contain laughably disastrous effects for small infractions, or something no infraction at all. If you’ve never heard a babysitting urban legend, let me tell you the one where…
No Laughing Matter
1. The babysitter is weirded out by a clown figurine in the children’s bedroom. Later, the mother calls and she mentions that she put a sheet over its head because it made her feel odd. The mother yells for her to take the kids to a neighbors, and that her children have never had a clown doll. The clown is caught trying to escape on the back lawn.
Moral: Try this with a Brad Pitt figurine in your own room and see what happens…
Hippie for Hire
2. A babysitter taking some…ahem…illegal substances on the job accidentally places the baby in the oven and the turkey in bed, then tells the parents later that dinner is ready, effectively frying her job prospects for the rest of her life…
Moral: If your babysitter’s skirt has more than three colors, don’t hire her.
Frank the Prank
3. A babysitter answers the phone to hear a man laughing hysterically and then a voice saying, “I’m upstairs with the children, you’d better come up.” Thinking it’s a prank call, she slams down the phone, only to get the same call again and again. She consults an operator, who tells her to try and keep him on the line. The babysitter does this during the next call, but fails. Finally, the operator calls and says “get out of the house, the man is on the extension. The babysitter flees, and the police find that she was next in a string of grisly murders.
Moral: spoil your local operator. Send them chocolate.
A Total Gas
4. One babysitter on the subway confides to another that she always has trouble getting little junior to sleep. The other babysitter says “No problem, I just take them into the kitchen and give them a little bit of gas from the oven and they always go out like a light…”
Moral: Don’t listen to people on the subway. It only leads to life complications.
People Can Lick Too
5. A young girl comes home and jumps on her computer. She chats to a friend and is more than happy to confide in her, openly telling her that she has the house to herself for the evening. Her parents go out for dinner and her sister sneakily goes out also, without babysitting her younger sister like she’s asked to. The young girl has a shower, then lays on her bed and hangs her hand down the side of the bed and her dog licks it. Knowing it’s okay with the dog there, she goes to sleep. A few hours later she is awakened by a noise. She goes downstairs to investigate but finds nothing. She then wanders back upstairs, climbs into bed, and flings her hand down again to feel a wet tongue on her fingers once more. At this point, she glances in the mirror and sees the words “People can lick too” written across it. Also, in the reflection she sees a man, licking her fingers, with the decapitated dog on the floor next to him.
Moral: Don’t let a dog lick your hand for hours. That is totally gross.
Captain Hook
6. A crazy lunatic escaped from a nearby lunatic asylum with a hook for a hand rips off urban legend #2, above, but this time also scrapes the walls, carpet, and anything else he can find to leave his mark behind…
Moral: For that ripped wallpaper look, call Captain Hook Buggy Baby Bumper Babysitting Service.
The Vicious Cycle
7. The crazy lunatic from Urban Legend #6 originally does an Urban Legend #3 on her, killing all the kids in her care, then holds a grudge against her for getting away and returns later to do it all again, this time with the babysitter’s own kids…
Moral: Die the first time, would ya?
Bing! Next?
8. While a girl is babysitting the phone rings. She’s watching TV and so she just hangs up in annoyance when she hears heavy breathing. It rings again, this time she hears the kids. She heads all over the house looking for them, but all she can find is a pair of abandoned PJ’s. The phone rings again, and the caller says “you’re next,” then laughs maniacally. When the parents get home all they find of the babysitter is the phone hanging off the hook.
Moral: When babysitting, never answer the phone. Just imagine how frustrated your killer will be.
Home Alone
9. A young couple is racing out the door to the airport, late for their flight to Bali. As they were leaving the babysitter still had not come, so they telephones her and told her the baby was in his highchair and waiting for her. Then they left. When the babysitter arrives, the door is blown shut and locked. She thinks that the parents have made other arrangements, and so she leaves. When the parents get back, they realize the baby is still in his highchair.
Moral: As parents you deserve no enjoyment of life whatsoever. Give up now and never plan another vacation again.
Photo credit: Photoshoptalent.com